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Mark Steel: The macabre details of Michael Jackson's deathAnother gem from Mr Steel...
'Within minutes of the first reports, it was clear the world was going mad. The reporter on Radio 5 Live told us the news from Los Angeles "was truly a JFK moment". Because the sense of shock and grief were identical, in one case millions feeling a new era of civil rights and peace had been cruelly snuffed out; in the other, the realisation we would never again see a man go "Yow" while spinning in a circle.'
Jim
 The NurseryHere's a little pic of the nursery... not long to go now.
 Jim
Wonky Fruit & VegSome brilliant pictures from the Beeb. My favourite is this one:
 Jim
Number of the week = 34This week, Baby D and I share a the number 34 between us. Baby D is 34 weeks through today, with only 6 weeks till the due date. Plus, I'm 34 later this week! I know, shocking. Me, 34? Jim
Another MouseWe found another mouse in the garage at the weekend. After trying to hide the stocks of rabbit food in a spare green box, this one managed to get in, but not out. Bless. We set him free...
Jim
   Mark Steel: Here's what filthy rich really meansOne MP will have claimed for panda food, another for a Rembrandt.
By now, Jacqui Smith's husband must be preparing a new apology that goes: "I am now TRULY sorry for fiddling porn films on expenses. What was I thinking of? Compared to the rest, I could have claimed for King Dong and Chesty Morgan to perform live on the lawn and not seemed out of place."
How do you top Douglas Hogg, who claimed £2,000 for the cost of clearing his moat? Presumably he thinks, "No politician can represent their constituents properly if they've got a dirty moat." Whenever there's a debate in Parliament about housing estates with squalid conditions, he must think, "Oh how dreadful, these poor blighters must make do with a communal moat."
Or Oliver Letwin, with his £2,000 claim for a pipe under a tennis court. Maybe this isn't the main issue, but why does a tennis court need a pipe under it anyway? Is he having Hawkeye installed? So he'll make a statement saying: "As a member of the Shadow Cabinet, I might be asked to entertain senior businessmen with a game of tennis, and if that was to end in a vicious fight over a disputed line call it would be highly damaging to Britain's interests."
And there's all the Hazel Blears types, who see nothing wrong in claiming that, on becoming an MP, they moved into a new residence in a litter bin, which meant the home they had been living in for 20 years was now their second home, and it was essential for their kids they employed a full-time snooker referee.
There's nothing that could now be surprising. By next week it will turn out one of them claimed for an original Rembrandt, insisting they lived under it as a second home. Another will have claimed for £20,000 of panda food, or a time machine, or £3,000 to have a light bulb changed by Elton John. David Davis, the Conservatives' former law and order spokesman, claimed £2,000 for mowing his paddocks. Maybe that's why he was so angry with teenage criminals – he was appalled by their lack of ambition. What he meant to say was: "These thugs should be ashamed of themselves. Instead of mugging people for a mobile phone they should grab them and say, 'Don't move, bruv, you're surrounded, innit. Now mow my paddock or I'll mash you up'."
And so many of these MPs have harrumphed with approval at the clampdowns on false claims for housing and invalidity benefits. They've gone along with campaigns such as "Rat on a rat" and "Benefit cheats, we're closing in". And then they object, as Luton's MP Margaret Moran did, that they had to claim for a house in Southampton (nowhere near her work) because "I can't do my job without somewhere to be with my family". So that's what to say if you're caught fiddling the dole. Tell the fraud officer you were saving up for a house in Southampton, because these days a house in Southampton is clearly a basic human necessity like toilet roll. Surely the Labour Party must set a target that by 2013 every family in Britain will have a house in Southampton.
But, of course, these people don't think they've done anything wrong because both parties now stand for the values of big business. Lord Peter Mandelson declared famously that New Labour was "relaxed about people being filthy rich". Politicians move in those circles. Their heroes are Murdoch, Branson and Berlusconi. They inhabit a world of clean moats and mowed paddocks. Bit by bit, I get the impression the way this country is run is not quite right.
Check out Mark Steel's weekly column
Jim
The Z in Bentalls...Here's a recent pic of the Z in Bentalls. Sell, keep, sell, keep, ... oh i dunno.. its too lovely to go..
 Jim
Blue !!! Jim Boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl...We may have a chance to find out in 48 hrs...
Jim
 Album of the Week - The Prodigy - Invaders Must DieI'm so confused...
Have I just instantly been transported back to November 1992? Have I put the Experience on by accident?
Or, is this the new album from The Prodigy?
Both - its a great mix of thowbacks to the original great days of The Prodigy, with a hefty slice of late naughties... Fighting Pendulum on hallowed ground.
Highlights are the brilliant 'Omen' and 'Take me to the Hospital'.
Awesome....
 Jim
A legend is coming... 370Z...Its almost here...
The special invitations have been sent out... and its stunning...
 Jim
Snowed In - UPDATEDJust like everyone else in the country today, we've been snowed in!
No-one from our road is able to get out onto the main roads, and with some cars abandoned and other roads closed by the police, we though we'd WFH today like most people!
The rabbit seems to enjoy the snow a little too much as earlier was pretending to be a snow plough by pushing away the 4 inches of snow with his face! Meanwhile, the question remains, will the forecast be correct - as we're due more snow and worse conditions within the next 3 hours or so!
Just as well we have the fire on to keep us warm...
Jim
More pics here... http://cid-160e294cacea171e.skydrive.live.com/browse.aspx/2009-02-02%20-%20Snowed%20In Motorist escapes Italian Job-style plungeFrom today's Metro:
A motorist had a miraculous escape when his van was left hanging off a cliff edge after it careered off a mountain road. In a scene straight out of The Italian Job, Daniel Lyons, 34, was left hanging in mid-air after his vehicle plunged down the rock face in Colorado and dangled on a precipice 170 ft from the ground.
Rescue crews raced to the scene of the accident at the Colorado National Monument and found him in the swaying vehicle.
 Jim
Living with a monsterYesterday, following a return to work after many days of man flu, I went through various bizarre stages of both exhaustion and hyperactive-ness. Nicola describes one such incident to a friend in an email...
'Hmm, yes, there I was in bed trying to sleep and in comes James pretending to be a monster... only he was so hyper he couldn't stop laughing at his own monster impression... Then he went through this whole thing about how funny it would be if he was only a head on a little hand, no body, and proceeded to cover everything but his head and his hand under the duvet and pretend to run around with just a head and a hand!
Needless to say this is pretty usual in the life of the Dawsons... ' Jim
Chairlift Strips SkierFrom the beeb today...
'A skier was left dangling from a chairlift at an American resort after he became stuck upside-down with his ski trousers round his ankles. Photos show the man naked from his waist to his knees, swinging from one leg, and still wearing both skis.'
 Jim
Jay'sWe had four stunning Jay's in our front garden this afternoon; here's one of them.
 Jim
Fainted - Now in Recovery!I have to admit something.. a little embarassing. Last night I fainted for the first time ever. This is obviously a bit difficult for a tough, rugged man such as myself, but I feel I need to make a public apology for the damage I caused on 'felling'. Sadly, an air freshner was ripped from the wall and smashed on the bathroom floor. The only other damage is the pain in my head (after falling onto a wall cabinet) and the bruises on my knees (as I hit the toilet and the floor). Thankfully the black-out only lasted a few seconds, and I had a couple of brave willing nurses to look out for me afterwards... So very embarassing. It was probably due to being very dehydrated and dosed up on Minstrels and Malteasers. Honestly, I'd only had a couple of bevvies!
So, S&H, I'm sorry for the almighty crashing noise, and the damage to your air-freshner!
Jim
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