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Life's biggest mystery solved...Anyone that knows me will understand that I've spent years trying to solve life's biggest mystery.
Well, at last, the mystery is solved.
Here's the evidence.
 Jim
 Mark Steel: The macabre details of Michael Jackson's deathAnother gem from Mr Steel...
'Within minutes of the first reports, it was clear the world was going mad. The reporter on Radio 5 Live told us the news from Los Angeles "was truly a JFK moment". Because the sense of shock and grief were identical, in one case millions feeling a new era of civil rights and peace had been cruelly snuffed out; in the other, the realisation we would never again see a man go "Yow" while spinning in a circle.'
Jim
 The NurseryHere's a little pic of the nursery... not long to go now.
 Jim
Mark Steel: Here's what filthy rich really meansOne MP will have claimed for panda food, another for a Rembrandt.
By now, Jacqui Smith's husband must be preparing a new apology that goes: "I am now TRULY sorry for fiddling porn films on expenses. What was I thinking of? Compared to the rest, I could have claimed for King Dong and Chesty Morgan to perform live on the lawn and not seemed out of place."
How do you top Douglas Hogg, who claimed £2,000 for the cost of clearing his moat? Presumably he thinks, "No politician can represent their constituents properly if they've got a dirty moat." Whenever there's a debate in Parliament about housing estates with squalid conditions, he must think, "Oh how dreadful, these poor blighters must make do with a communal moat."
Or Oliver Letwin, with his £2,000 claim for a pipe under a tennis court. Maybe this isn't the main issue, but why does a tennis court need a pipe under it anyway? Is he having Hawkeye installed? So he'll make a statement saying: "As a member of the Shadow Cabinet, I might be asked to entertain senior businessmen with a game of tennis, and if that was to end in a vicious fight over a disputed line call it would be highly damaging to Britain's interests."
And there's all the Hazel Blears types, who see nothing wrong in claiming that, on becoming an MP, they moved into a new residence in a litter bin, which meant the home they had been living in for 20 years was now their second home, and it was essential for their kids they employed a full-time snooker referee.
There's nothing that could now be surprising. By next week it will turn out one of them claimed for an original Rembrandt, insisting they lived under it as a second home. Another will have claimed for £20,000 of panda food, or a time machine, or £3,000 to have a light bulb changed by Elton John. David Davis, the Conservatives' former law and order spokesman, claimed £2,000 for mowing his paddocks. Maybe that's why he was so angry with teenage criminals – he was appalled by their lack of ambition. What he meant to say was: "These thugs should be ashamed of themselves. Instead of mugging people for a mobile phone they should grab them and say, 'Don't move, bruv, you're surrounded, innit. Now mow my paddock or I'll mash you up'."
And so many of these MPs have harrumphed with approval at the clampdowns on false claims for housing and invalidity benefits. They've gone along with campaigns such as "Rat on a rat" and "Benefit cheats, we're closing in". And then they object, as Luton's MP Margaret Moran did, that they had to claim for a house in Southampton (nowhere near her work) because "I can't do my job without somewhere to be with my family". So that's what to say if you're caught fiddling the dole. Tell the fraud officer you were saving up for a house in Southampton, because these days a house in Southampton is clearly a basic human necessity like toilet roll. Surely the Labour Party must set a target that by 2013 every family in Britain will have a house in Southampton.
But, of course, these people don't think they've done anything wrong because both parties now stand for the values of big business. Lord Peter Mandelson declared famously that New Labour was "relaxed about people being filthy rich". Politicians move in those circles. Their heroes are Murdoch, Branson and Berlusconi. They inhabit a world of clean moats and mowed paddocks. Bit by bit, I get the impression the way this country is run is not quite right.
Check out Mark Steel's weekly column
Jim
 A legend is coming... 370Z...Its almost here...
The special invitations have been sent out... and its stunning...
 Jim
 Snowed In - UPDATEDJust like everyone else in the country today, we've been snowed in!
No-one from our road is able to get out onto the main roads, and with some cars abandoned and other roads closed by the police, we though we'd WFH today like most people!
The rabbit seems to enjoy the snow a little too much as earlier was pretending to be a snow plough by pushing away the 4 inches of snow with his face! Meanwhile, the question remains, will the forecast be correct - as we're due more snow and worse conditions within the next 3 hours or so!
Just as well we have the fire on to keep us warm...
Jim
More pics here... http://cid-160e294cacea171e.skydrive.live.com/browse.aspx/2009-02-02%20-%20Snowed%20In Motorist escapes Italian Job-style plungeFrom today's Metro:
A motorist had a miraculous escape when his van was left hanging off a cliff edge after it careered off a mountain road. In a scene straight out of The Italian Job, Daniel Lyons, 34, was left hanging in mid-air after his vehicle plunged down the rock face in Colorado and dangled on a precipice 170 ft from the ground.
Rescue crews raced to the scene of the accident at the Colorado National Monument and found him in the swaying vehicle.
 Jim
Chairlift Strips SkierFrom the beeb today...
'A skier was left dangling from a chairlift at an American resort after he became stuck upside-down with his ski trousers round his ankles. Photos show the man naked from his waist to his knees, swinging from one leg, and still wearing both skis.'
 Jim
Strange Electrical Goings On...Yesterday, on a late summers afternoon somewhere in the leafy shires of southern England, two people left their local leisure centre red faced and tired. The air felt heavy and warm as they walked together towards the cars. They talked about how badly they'd played and promised that next week they would be back on top form. They paid little attention to the faint sounds of distant car alarms. Nor did they notice the confused faces upon their fellow patrons, just stood around their motionless and inaccessible vehicles. It was only after the farewells, a moments silence, and the many button presses on their key-fobs that they noticed anything unusual at all.
They were forced down the old-fashioned-key-access route having both abandoned the way of remote central locking. Surely this was one coincidence too many. It wasn't just that both cars had failed to open, but that the same was happening to the few cars dotted around them. They stared perplexed at on old man stood 50 yards away in front of his Ford Focus. They watched him press his key-fob, wait, walk around to the front of his car, press again, then walk back the other way around the car, and press again. This final press brought the car to life. The man cracked half a smile, and got in. No such luck for the two players, who had to wait for their alarms to silence before packing the racquets into the cars and drive off. No-one was able to explain the strange goings on. Could the weather have been the cause? Possibly... http://www.cyberspaceorbit.com/frontpage/frontpage.html
(search for 'keyless') Jim  Tree IncidentThe mother-in-law had an incident with a tree today... all the rain and wind we've had in the last 24-hours has finally taken its toll on the very old oak tree in her front garden..
Its now 11pm, and the branches have only just now been cleared and the electric reconnected. Just as well the whole thing hasn't come down, yet.
Jim
Bernard featured in MetroLast I heard, Bernard was living in northern Italy with Ms Diaz... Now it seems he's modelling again... this time for a Zurich ad in Metro..
Jim
100 things we didn't know last yearAnother great list this year from the beeb...
Jim
House News !!!News hot off the presses... !
We've now sold our nice little house, and today we bought our next ... ! How exciting!
Fingers crossed, we'll be all done, dusted and moved within 6 - 8 weeks...
Jim
 Gingerism vs. RacismA very thought provoking article from the beeb..
Jim
:) Oh.. please no... [aka - Picture of the Week]U.S. President George W. Bush and first lady Laura Bush dance with members of Kankouran West African Dance Company at the White House during an event to mark Malaria Awareness Day.
I saw this in the news this morning, and I was simply stunned.
Jim
 Never trust a monkey and a rabbitThe other night, we went out for the evening and left the rabbit and monkey at home on their own for the first time without supervision. You know how it is, as they get older you have to loosen the reigns, give them a bit more independence and trust, etc. They promised to behave, but I'm sad to say they didn't keep their promise. We came home to find the lounge in a right mess, and the two of them playing 'horses' or 'cowboys and indians' or something.
I wasn't angry. Just, disappointed.
Jim
SnowAs the UK ground to a halt last week with literally centimetres of snow, I thought it only fitting to put a couple of snowy pics up on the site. Stage left.
Jim
Hammond Crash Pictures ReleasedPictures of the high-speed crash involving Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond have been published for the first time since the accident. Jim
A Tiny Monkey !!!From the Beeb... A conservation programme for some of the world's most bizarre and unusual creatures has been launched by the Zoological Society of London (ZSL). Species like the bumblebee bat and the pygmy hippopotamus will be protected under the Evolutionary Distinct and Globally Endangered (Edge) project. The slender loris (Loris tardigradus), found in southern Sri Lanka, is another to benefit. Populations of this small primate are declining because of deforestation, and conservationists plan to restore its habitat and establish corridors between fragmented areas of forest. Ahhhhh.... Jim
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